Today, I went to join my friend Sherry bringing music to the 11 a.m. Mass at what I call the “Motherhouse”. There might be 40 people in total in this chapel and an old chord organ.
In saying the mass and singing the psalm, a song of lament, “My soul is searching, for you O Lord my God”, I felt his presence as I sang. While I sang I prayed. During Psalm 63, what I felt cannot be described because it is my feeling, my peace and my calm. For me it is the combination of music and words, where I can experience oneness with God.
At the time, I remember feeling a cool breeze and no words came to mind but a thought, “this is what it feels like. I wish I had this feeling all the time.” During the mass, I thought I need to write this down for fear I will lose it, the feeling, emotion, thought. I am not a “by birth” Catholic. However, as I explained to my friend Sherry, I was raised in a Christian home so it is very much a part of my childhood, so much that when my children were born, I wanted them to have this experience too.
Saddened that I was unable to provide it for them, again I thought but I can write about my experience today for them. The thought of our human body as being a “room”, a “tent” and a place where I can be at rest with God is such a remarkable feeling and emotion. It works for me and I can’t express it for anyone else or understand anyone else’s experience but today I was loved by God, felt his presence and allowed him to be one with me.